(4 / 5)
It’s no secret that I am a dedicated disciple of Gretchen Rubin. Her book “The Happiness Project” changed my life more than any other book in the past couple of years. And she’s done it again with her newest book “The Four Tendencies”.
Have you ever wondered why you can readily meet the expectations others have for you but can’t make yourself stick to a regime you set for yourself? Or why you’re completely bent out of shape over a last minute change to plans? You may be an Obliger or an Upholder (respectively). Or maybe you’re a law only unto yourself (Questioner) or any authority whatsoever gets under your skin (Rebel).
In “The Four Tendencies” Rubin presents an entirely new approach to what makes people tick. Instead of profiling personalities into four or nine groups Rubin chucks the personality approach and focuses on how different people manage outer and inner expectations. Not only that but she dedicates many pages to not only identify what type you are but how to interact successfully with those from other groups. I was fascinated as she spoke right to me as an Upholder and described my husband to a tee as an Obliger. The book reads very quickly and just like in “The Happiness Project” is full of practical, real life advice. What I like about her approach is that she isn’t telling your how to change yourself to be more or less than you want, but instead she tells you the strength and weaknesses of each group and how to make your natural grouping work in your favor. Just like with personality profiling Rubin’s work is not an exact science either but she addresses this in a satisfying way.
I read this book in small sections over the course of a week. It was a quick fascinating read and ever since finishing I find myself frequently thinking over the content. This is a book I plan to own and return to many times over. I highly recommend it.